I wanted to post something less “serious” and something a bit more fun and that will create a few laughs so why not adventure into the world of film titles. I tried to challenge myself not to just search for every Asylum film made and include them, so sorry “Sharkando” and “Giant Octopus Vs. Mega Shark”. Before I narrow the list down and present to you the top 5, here’s some that didn’t quite make it but deserves a mention.
Disco Beaver From Outer Space – It’s a 1978 film that actually has high credentials and ratings, about National Lampoons mocking everything that’s wrong with cable TV. To be fair the name sounds more fun than the film but I guess there wasn’t many Disco Beavers available in the 70’s.
Another film failing to make it is “Anus Magillicutty” yeah maybe we shouldn’t go to deep into this one (no puns intended). Just like the others Santa Claus Conquers The Martians didn’t make it either and it had the same luck with the Oscars. A story surrounding Santa that gets stolen from Martians because their kids had no one to make them presents, slightly heart-warming?. Finally just scrapping outside was “Don’t Worry, We’ll Think Of A Title”, yep there’s genuinely a film out there with that title. Made in 1966 it’s an action film about a mistaken foreign agent evading capture, yeah I wouldn’t bother buying that one either.
#5 The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?? (1964): Just a bit of a mouthful, written and directed by Ray Dennis Steckler- you know that really famous guy who done that film “Rat Pfink a Boo Boo (1966)” yeah me too. The story though sounds quite, well entertaining. The main character of Jerry falls in love with a stripper at a carnival, little does he know that she is a sister of a gypsy (could have guessed that one, come on Jerry!), the gypsy turns him into a Zombie and he goes on a killing spree- Tasty!
#4 The Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996): So who remembers The Lawnmower Man (1992) well if you do then I’m sure you’ve seen this sequel. Without going into too much depth it’s about a man called Jobe who is a computer genius who attempts to connect all the computers in the world onto one network, does he mow lawns? most likely. If the film fails to interest you well at least you got a big pretty poster to look at, and look! there’s Jobe mowing lawns at the bottom.
#3 The Curious Dr.Humpp (1969): Please let this be a cute film about a camel who saves other animals…… nope it’s about a sexual kidnapping doctor. Dr. Humpp kidnaps couples who have sex, injects them with substances to improve their sexual abilities but unfortunately he has to stop himself turning into a monster as he takes orders of a talking brain. It could get worse though, it could have kept its original name of “La venganza del sexo”.
#2 Captain Supermarket (1992): The film Army Of Darkness in Japan is known as Captain Supermarket, I’m not sure why or how due to the film being about a man defeating an army of the un-dead after being teleported back to 1300 AD. The film has had actually had some success and has got a very good rating. It’s a shame it isn’t about a guy protecting our precious Supermarkets against those trolley stealing youths otherwise it could have got top spot.
#1 The Tony Blair Witch Project (2000): Claiming number one is the spoof of The Blair Witch Project, The Tony Blair Witch Project. It didn’t have much success and is known just to be laughed at, but at least it lives up to the standard of Mr Blair. It’s about a group of politicians who hunt down the “The Tony Blair Witch”, when asked if it had relations to the former British Prime Minister the writer and director Mike Martinez answered “it might have, it might not”, but we’ll make our own minds up shall we. Surprisingly and more impressively its managed to make a quarter of a million dollars from worldwide sales and is a popular found footage film, wait a second does this mean this was a true story…..